at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
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You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
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PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow