I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.