brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.