I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.