I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
