I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
