is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
i now understand why vodka
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
