how can u be prego again
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
