Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
