you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
