I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
