Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(320): View more from Minnesota

Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...

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(320): Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting... http://tfl.nu/4ynh

Replies (23) Good night (1852) Bad night (5221)
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(678): View more from Georgia

his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.

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(678): his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him. http://tfl.nu/quex

Replies (24) Good night (5820) Bad night (1069) Order T-Shirt
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.

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(717): I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better. http://tfl.nu/z41g

Replies (13) Good night (4450) Bad night (761) Order T-Shirt
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(317): View more from Indiana

I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.

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(317): I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me. http://tfl.nu/s4ft

Replies (36) Good night (6970) Bad night (1352) Order T-Shirt
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(908): View more from New Jersey

Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?

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(908): Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body? http://tfl.nu/k849

Replies (12) Good night (3935) Bad night (988) Order T-Shirt
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(859): View more from Kentucky

My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.

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(859): My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over. http://tfl.nu/t1vw

Replies (9) Good night (601) Bad night (5527) Order T-Shirt
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(515): View more from Iowa

Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit

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(515): Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit http://tfl.nu/4m5n

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(415): View more from California

He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.

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(415): He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her. http://tfl.nu/kc95

Replies (16) Good night (4097) Bad night (1623) Order T-Shirt
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(937): View more from Ohio

They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.

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(937): They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks. http://tfl.nu/nsc0

Replies (3) Good night (1713) Bad night (555) Order T-Shirt
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(361): View more from Texas

I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.

(1-361): View more from Texas

Ew! He's just a child!

(361): View more from Texas

AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.

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(361): I'm okay with corrupting his young mind. (1-361): Ew! He's just a child! (361): AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE. http://tfl.nu/exs0

Replies (46) Good night (3691) Bad night (1685)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.

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(732): Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate. http://tfl.nu/stwp

Replies (9) Good night (1446) Bad night (544) Order T-Shirt
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(507): View more from Minnesota

Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs

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(507): Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs http://tfl.nu/tz12

Replies (25) Good night (656) Bad night (1391) Order T-Shirt
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(770): View more from Georgia

Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...

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(770): Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now... http://tfl.nu/knzm

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(440): View more from Ohio

Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.

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(440): Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great. http://tfl.nu/fk00

Replies (15) Good night (268) Bad night (548) Order T-Shirt
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(805): View more from California

Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.

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(805): Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message. http://tfl.nu/tlvz

Replies (1) Good night (509) Bad night (212)

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