you guys were way drunker than both of me
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister