Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You're my little dorito
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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