dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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