I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?