Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
