There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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