she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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