Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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