YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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