so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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