I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
