We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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