I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
