Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
meet me or not, i'm out of control
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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