Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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