is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
