I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
