Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
