I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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