I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
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