If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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