how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
