Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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