I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
