Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
