Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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