I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
