Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
She announced her abortion via fbk
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
