oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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