i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
