nut hugger
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
