omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
