morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
