I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
