gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
