he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
