Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
