porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
