there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize