i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I think a kid would responsible me up
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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