That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
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I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
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I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
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