Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
