pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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