So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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