Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Say something about gay babies.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
