we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
