Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
