Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
