my mouth tastes like poor choices
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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