My brain says no but my pants say off.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
