i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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