Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
