also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize