Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize