my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
