Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
as a side note pls kill me
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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