WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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